_Intro: So I want to hold off on the lamentations because useless pessimism isn't the headspace I want to maintain any longer. Instead I'm gonna drop an update on where the hiatus is going and what's become of the time. This is more for me to keep track of my progress, general journal-keeping kind of habits. I'm glad to announce that I've gone back to school for a course in Water Technology while looking for state apprenticeships in the same field. Not really relevant to art but it will explain what I've been up to aside from learning and looking for more work so I can fund my caffeine habit.

Another thing is that the hiatus has been about reevaluating my priorities as much as it has been about improving my drawing ability. When I started the hiatus 2 months ago I never had a concrete goal in mind aside from git gud but now that I know longer want to draw with the intent of amassing a following, I can now comfortably say that I'm trying to be as authentic with my creations as I can. So as for a defined art goal, I want to be more confident with the drawing process, having fun with it is something I hear from a lot of experienced people and they share that with me for a damn good reason. It's time to start believing in it.

_As far as school goes: I only started a couple days ago for in-person classes but this is going to be as important to me as learning to be more comfortable with the drawing process. If I can get an apprenticeship to go along with these courses then I will need to dedicate more time and effort towards getting good marks.

Suffice to say, after a quarter century on this earth, I haven't really set anything up for me to be truly self-sufficient. For any myriad of reasons I've been held back in that regard but now's my chance to build something important. My girlfriend tells me that, even though I'm halfway through my twenties, life just started.

_So far I have a Three-fold Goal: and by that I mean that I have something to keep me grounded because the state of the world has a miraculous way of diminishing my time and energy. Now is not the time for my soapbox but I have three things I want to focus on because this is pretty much all I have the power to do. Everyone's freaking out right now about everything so I'm going to keep my own faculties in check by choosing my battles as opposed to crashing out whenever the internet tells me to.

[01] I want to be a diligent student and put in the effort with these classes because I have a history of fucking off when it came to school work and now I've found something I'm genuinely interested in, academically at least. There's the potential for the course load to increase—especially if I get an apprenticeship which entails more class work—but the benefits can't be denied if I can break out into this industry.

[02] I want to reach a point where I'm more comfortable with my art and writing, enough for me to begin posting more online. There's a lot I've learned, not just about art, but about being an artist and one of the revelations I found was people seek connection, not perfection. In that same space, another thing is to create authentically. I have to remember that I draw and write because that's what I do without any expectation of feeling externally validated—because that's honestly a shallow reason to create in the first place and will only take me so far.

[03] The world is a confusing place, always has been and always will be. With the internet we can see how crazy people will react to events they can't control. A hundred new ideologies and interpretations of things pop up every month and it's overwhelming to deal with. When it was impossible to avoid the reality, I found myself wondering if I was truly aligned with the right cause, believing the right things. Many of what I was told conflicted with how I truly felt and it came back to seeking validation as opposed to staying true to my principles.

So while I don't want to say that I'm being completely ignorant of the situation, there's one principle I can always count on when things get confusing. You stick by your friends. They may be family or colleagues or people you've been playing online with for years, you stick by your friends no matter what. For all the isms there are to follow in the political side of the internet, this is the only thing I know for real.

_To round this out: I picked a date I'll come back to start posting consistently, maybe even have a few things to share. December 21 of this year is when I'll come back to Newgrounds, ideally I'll have made some strides in my art and writing by then but I also have other responsibilities to fulfill. Thanks for sticking around—if indeed you have—and I'll get back to it at the end of the year. Keep being real.

—Errant out