_I woke up this morning a half hour before my alarm to watch youtube and the algorithm took a break from it's usual stream of bad news to drop this little diddy on me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J5TjkS82QA&list=PL9hUsDMzbFW9znFr8chnf8MxxK8hqVhGw&index=66

While getting back to work on the character sheets, I had time to reflect on what I learned after watching this, the whole day seemed to revolve around this internal conflict between doomerism and hope. My takeaway from the video is something very personal and has surprisingly been a mindset I cultivated a couple years ago. Mandelbro ends on the note, something like every pessimist being a disappointed optimist. From there he concludes on:

The pessimist will see the good as the baseline, and reality as the disappointment. The optimist will see the bad as the baseline, and any good as a rare gift.

Now that was the crux of a certain mindset-let's call it a personal protocol-when it came to dealing with an enduring challenge I had with feelings of inadequacy. I accepted the bad as the baseline and from there it was an epiphany. I handled the world differently, "Take life gently and quietly" became my mantra. Over time I lost the essence of that protocol when I started working in waste management. But now that I've moved on from that job, it's beginning to return.

New Year's Day, I convinced myself there was only a good 20 years left before the world became a universal dystopia. For all the criticism I have of doomers this is a doomerist take on my part. But I like to think of myself as an absurdist. Acting on a timeline of two decades felt like just enough of a reason to get my ass in gear. We've got a lot to do and only 20 more years to do it! Marvelous. Then yesterday I said "It's not 20 years, it's more like 3". What difference does it make? Furthermore, I also described the state of the world as being sorta comatose like victims of the WAU. Not truly healing, but never allowed to die. There's another way of saying that, a better way, you call it ebb and flow. Nothing new about the realization, that's yin-yang shit right there.

Another realization came to me that it's this anger towards the state of things that wasted so much of my time in the first place. Anger about injustice and inequality and those who perpetuated it. I'm in the same position I was then. I no longer want to say that it's a fucked situation to be in because that implies a grim sense of finality.

Truth is I'm afraid for more than myself. The anti-doomers (let's call them) always bordered on masturbatory. Ironic, an NSFW artist calling others masturbatory. But it's true, everyone has their indulgences. No exceptions. And you have to be some level of delusional to think it's one big fucking party for everybody. Maybe they've been so benefitted, so untouched from external circumstances that they're left with nothing to do than be angry about people who don't think our system is flawless! You can always judge a person's character with how well they respond to criticism. Always.

But let's look at the other extreme because I've been both. Hopelessness seems to be the appropriate response to things, especially when they affect you so directly. There is no easy answer-never has been. I want to have faith in human compassion, in empathy. Because while taking care of each other isn't the easiest answer it's obviously the best. Some people become too aware of our circumstances to the point they obsess over it. The result is a self-destructive resignation to the forces of old and evil. Complacency on another extreme.

I am still afraid. More so for others than myself on part of the very real possibility that bad things will come for people I care about. To all the anti-doomers who think everything's dandy because you aren't paying attention, fuck right off.

Where does this leave us? Returning to New Year's, I expressed a need for connection. You hear it from the lefties a lot in response to the current administration: collectivism, community, connecting with your neighbors. I love it! It's grassroots activism at its heart. People taking care of and advocating for people. So unless I keep the mask on when I log off, there isn't much community for a young degenerate like me. I would never join an organization that would accept me as a member! Like I said, everyone has their indulgences. That's the kind of bridge I can build. Not pretty, but it's something. Which reminds me...

Been tuning into Jregs' videos recently. His uploads about community and art couldn't have appeared at a better time. I don't know all the nuances about his content because internet political theory is not something that interests me but I'm listening to what he has to say-assuming he's not being ironic. Often the two themes intersect, art becoming a medium for connectivity. He has touched on the subject of making art for yourself vs. others and my takeaway is that you should always be your authentic self and never should you hide it. Because if you hide it, you isolate. Never again. You don't know who's in your audience but when you get your balls up and put yourself out there, you are giving people the choice to take it or leave it. That's all you should ask of them, take it or leave it! Not everyone will stay but those who do, they are your people.

To get on with it, I wanna admit that I'm burnt out on hopelessness. Even in an ironic sort of way, there's no longevity in putting a timer on the world. For now I'm gonna cultivate that protocol that bounces between lilac and blues and magentas all in my mind. I have no room in my heart for desperation. For those who follow and will be there to see my art grow and projects develop, welcome aboard. I want to see what you're doing, too.

_Final thought: There was a time I lingered with another bout of depression. I started to come out of it when I remembered a small moment from the Dark Souls cinematic, that part when the Witch Izalith holds the lord soul like a little flame in her hands. Another thing to remember is that you can help yourself by not taking life too seriously. There's a line from a prager u YTP i quote frequently: Life is rough, life is tough, penis prager has had enough

-Errant out

_Emphasis on Travel: Work continues on the latest edition of custom character sheets for Death in Space. I've decided that a 4x6 inch layout is the best format to roll with as it fits most of the EDC gear in my possession. Chasing perfection continues to be a futile effort and will only hinder this project. History tells me so.

One thing I've noticed about graphic design (and creation in general) isn't that more is more but the flavor comes from a shift away from functionality to stylization. It would be easy enough to copy material from the vanilla sheet and call it a day but the idea here is to go further with more of focus on aesthetic appeal. In doing so, the work goes through a process of rinse and repeat with the newest version improving on the last one. Design-wise, it's a sum greater than its parts.

Workflow is slowed to a crawl to achieve these means.

Although, a cluttered and complex aesthetic defeats the point of it being a travel kit. I want to avoid the minimalist approach but less is still more. I emphasize the travel part of the kit because if that's the intent it shouldn't be overly complex. That would unnecessarily pad out the timeline.

Furthermore-and I don't mean to get on my soapbox-but it's very likely that I will need to stay mobile in the next few years. Hey friend, I know the world is very scary right now but-IT'S GONNA GET WAY WORSE. You don't need to align yourself with anything politically to realize it's a fucked situation we're all in when not even the millionaires are safe. That 20 year deadline I estimated looks more like 3 right now. Funny world we live in when people are either too stupid or too proud to deny what's in front of them.

Of course, the incorrect action is to panic. The incorrect action is to be all forlorn about it. I've done both and can assure you it's a waste of your mental faculties.

Are most of the dreadful predictions poised to come true? No, our reality is far too lame for that. For all the misgivings, our timeline is very and nothing happens despite the immense suffering caused by those in power. But humans are also paradoxically good at the elimination of that suffering.

My fear, however, is that the world will exist in a perpetual state of limbo. Comatose and on life support. Never can it heal and not allowed to die.

Reminds me of Frictional Games' SOMA: the WAU doesn't have a human's understanding of life as we grasp it so the denizens of Pathos-II are kept alive by structure gel. Monotonous to say the least, but the alternatives are strogification or being dead.

This is the era of escapism...

_Where am I in all this?: Work continues. I'm getting tired and have to be up early.

_Hiding in the locker room at work to do some writing. Weekends are more relaxed than a typical work day because of how few trucks arrive and of course management is gone until Monday.

I love the idea of civil disobedience, those small ways we reclaim agency in a system bereft of it. No reason to be grateful that mgmt is so generous about bathroom breaks as if it weren't a biological necessity and actually a privilege. And if they'll be so indignant about it then they're free to clock in to oversee us drones.

I remember my last therapy session. My therapist, let's call him Mike, explained to me that fear of success is a real thing and it leads to self-sabatoge. It didn't make sense to me until he explained the reasons why people fail to pursue their goals:

[01] Fear: action produces change and it's a comfort w/ what's familiar that keeps people in a routine of mundanity. I can only speak from the perspective of a creative but I can also empathize w/ those missing adventure in life. The consensus is that starting is the hardest part. A conscious shift from the groove you've worked yourself into w/ intent on starting over somewhere new, somewhere better. You have to have faith it's the right path to be on.

[02] Self-doubt: Speaking from personal experience and observstion, self-doubt is that little monkey on your back hired by the same demon that makes you too comfortable w/ the familiar. It's the most personal enemy of the ambitious, your only true rival. An absurdist pursuit of a goal is the quickest way to silence that doubt. Yang energy firing on all cylinders in the sole direction of your ambition.

I can appreciate the explosive power of yang. My brother was a wrestler and I've seen firsthand how a quick burst of stamina can throw the advantage to you. But I learned long ago that yin is better for longevity. Hold on to yang like it's your ult move, use it when you need that boost.

[03] Talentlessness: I've already spoken at length over the dissonance between my skill level vs. my ambition. In some sense I am right when I say there isn't enough time to learn everything. No one has the privilege of a lifetime anymore. And as I said, Yin is better for longevity-longevity being husbanded as a finite resource. Yin is patient, it's fuel-efficient, and lightens the weight of self-doubt. The force behind why a river can whittle a stone into sand is persistence. That's the main takeaway from that movie The Founder, persistence pays off. If you're showing up for yourself, you're already doing enough.

I'm writing this from my phone so forgive any errors in grammar or format. Everyone wants to make the day go by quicker but the harder we resist the work day, the longer it feels. I can walk up and down commercial side pretending to sweep, letting my thoughts run on autoplay until it's time for lunch and then again until it's time to close.

A family of finches carved themselves a nice piece of real-estate right here in the transfer station. They know it's safe to fly down into the pit and pick at scraps when the dozer's not looking. They say there's a skunk somewhere on site but I've only smelt its presence. What I've learned from my few months of working in waste management is that beauty's found in strange places. I remember last year I saw a team of mallards flying west over the backdrop of a rainbow and cumulonimbus. And yesterday when the city got hit by whiteout. You'd never think that sort of thing could happen in southern New Mexico, but a high desert is a land of extremes.

_The hardest thing for me to admit about being an artist is that I am a beginner. I don't know if others feel this way. I'm one of those who sees all the cool things people are doing, creating and want to be at that level myself. But that's not realistic, we all have to start from somewhere and build up. Difficulty comes from the realization that I am years behind people who've put so much time and effort into their craft.

It's a hard pill to swallow. My tastes go far beyond my talents. It's bothering because it never felt like there was ever enough time in the world to build anything. In all likelihood, it was my own misconceptions that held me back. It was that urge to rush. Catch up.

It still seems like there isn't enough time in the world. Call it doom-scrolling but I don't see any reason to be optimistic about our chances. 34 degrees Fahrenheit by 2050 so the science says. World War Z gave me an idea of how humans respond to disaster and it's always denial before the panic and then comes crisis. The world deteriorates in stages as one problem begets another. I could forgive the inevitable dystopia if it wasn't so mid. Instead of Bladerunner we get Children of Men. What a rip.

It isn't just climate change but anymore writing on the subject wouldn't be constructive. Damage is done. I wish I never took all that time for granted, though. Another two and a half decades is good enough for me.

On account of foreseeable economic difficulties, I'm making changes to my spending habits. It starts w/ the cancellation of any subscriptions that have an obvious free alternative. Lemme break it down for you, Mark:

>Adobe Products: Both illustrator and photoshop can be replaced w/ Inkscape and GIMP. A red flag for a company is how difficult they make it for you to leave them-this is very true of gyms. Furthermore, Adobe acts like they hate you for using their products. I'm not a professional in a creative industry so I can do w/ a free downgrade. [Replace]

>Gyms: The only reason you should get a gym membership is if you don't have access to a safe area for jogging. Otherwise there's no validity in giving away $10 or $25 per month for exercises you can do at home. Weighted hikes burn more calories anyway. I've seen the argument made that people go to gyms for community which is fair if you have a group a friends who work out together but I am not that person. [Replace]

>Spotify: Hard to let go of this one because of how dependent I am on music. I've found multiple new bands to fall in love w/ through Spotify and I honestly think there's something to lose w/o premium. Ads ruined YouTube and Spotify isn't much better about it. There's ways around it, no doubt, but I'll miss that access to artists I wouldn't discover otherwise. [Keep]

>Chat GPT: This is a divisive one and I can see why. W/ all the discussion around the ethics of using AI (especially as an artist) it isn't hard to see why letting go of the 4.0 Model should be easy. But whether it helps or harms, AI is here to stay. I use chat to enhance my workflow, not supplant it. It's an invaluable tool as a sounding board for a writer. It's also been a good assistant in developing my other projects and w/ the obsolescence of the free 3.0 model, I will have to hang on to this one. [Keep]

>Third Places: As I've said before I'm no longer isolating. But due to the nature of my work a lot of progress must be done in private. This isn't true for all of my goals, thankfully. So therein lies a balance between public/private work settings but it's not like I can sit down at a boba tea place and draw Lex and Sakura re-enacting Two Nudes Kissing. Also, you should watch Grand Budapest Hotel. [Compromise]

>Transportation: All in all, automobiles are a white elephant but we as Americans need them for everything and they are a huge fucking drain on resources. It's an expense I'm just gonna have to eat. [Fuck all I can do here]

This whole thing put my thought-train on the path of all the grievances I have w/ modern living. Honestly the future of housing looks like we may end up in favelas. Going back to the creative side of things, I have 20 or so years left to get to work. Let them be the best 25 years I can come up with. I am a beginner, my skill-level is no where near that of the people I admire and that's alright. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

I always feared building something because it always felt like there was never enough time to learn how to build. There was so much shame in being an old beginner. Not that I have a choice now. There's no race to run but my own.

2025 will be the year of surprises, most of them bad. But doomerism is philosophical suicide. No, things will not get better but we live regardless.

Errant out

_To kick the year off right I'm pleased to announced that my work schedule is officially unfucked. What happens next is a matter of creative drive that should only be facilitated by a steady, enhanced project budget. Currently, [proj_00]: "RPG Travel Kit" and [_01]: "Four Titles" are undergoing reconstruction. This should come as a surprise to no one.

+ [proj_00]: "RPG Travel Kit" remains the most consistent in its development structure w/ a few pointers from the AI here and there. Aesthetically there is an argument between minimalism and artistic flavoring. As always, the fat is the best part of the steak and that's where I'm going with these custom modules. For now, staying with the original plan of maintaining the core rules as faithfully as I can before going all out on custom mechanics.

+ [proj_01]: "Four Titles" has been the most difficult item on the Project Index to no one's surprise. The hard to swallow pill says that there's no easy way around game development especially on a project of this scale. Some may call it foolhardy, I call it ambitious. So far, "Four Titles" will likely be produced as standalone novellas.

_2024 Reflections & Further Analysis:

I'm not alone when I say that the past year has been tiring. Depression, anxiety, and I can honestly say that 2024 was not my year but I walked out with a few takeaways near the end there. Progress has been abysmally slow. I'm restructuring the project index to reflect the changes made in early Autumn. The issue surrounding the work schedule is dead and buried, winter started with a whole revelation of sorts...

No one comes to read the idle ramblings of a NSFW artist-especially one w/ questionable interests-but same as my art, I like to think I can preserve something online. Nothing lasts forever anyway, let's at least attempt longevity. After all, I spent the last decade socially isolating and have had my fill of solitude.

Ideas fluctuate, as do goals, and accept that if I truly wanted to play the cynic I never would've started posting in the first place. Let's push the envelope, shall we?

If I had to pick three evils that bother me the most they're certainly a lack of connection, keeping a job I need more than want, and the reality that the world can only get worse. Item no. 3 is the most fun to deal with. Earth has been on the path to Children of Men since the millennium started so brace yourself for the lamest apocalypse in fiction. Personally I don't think I'll live past 40-maybe 50 if I start eating right-and who wants to be old in this world anyway.

To quote some set-dressing in the first Dead Space game, It's ok to be fucked.

Nevertheless, doomerism is the weak man's opium. I like drawing naked women, shooting guns, and traveling to sights unseen. I could do with another couple decades of all that and then some regardless of how the world turns out. Life well lived I say.

As far as the job situation goes I need to do something to justify the reckless spending. In all honesty I hang onto the position more out of fear than pride. Brian Thompson, burn in hell, makes me realize that life without insurance is hard-lived. With this job I get city benefits, retirement, and job training because who the fuck sets their heart to work in waste management? My plan so far is to make it out as a heavy-equipment operator then head west. Likewise, this new schedule of mine starts early and ends early which opens up room for night classes or online schooling. Nothing wrong with the city I live in but I need to get the hell out of here.

Lastly, connection. I went through all of high school avoiding people as a means of self-preservation and 10 years later all it did was arrest my development. Pen names, alter egos, and burner accounts are for those who want to say what they can't. At first I tried playing the cards close to my chest but again I'm not a cynic. Everyone has something they bury in their shadow and that's territory I like to explore.

Had an epiphany with my therapist last month and realized that I need to hold ideas more lightly than jealously. Perfectionism and an unrecognized need for approval are two more dragons to slay before moving forward.

_Intro:

Well, less than two weeks into the November schedule and I'm already failing to meet the deadlines I set for myself. Embarrassing. Furthermore, art uploads will be put on indefinite hiatus. There's a lot more I need from my own practice and I bought a couple of books to help me out. Proko on YT has plenty of resources and that's how I'll spend a lot of my free time.

_Challenges + Solutions:

>Poor drawing ability: My skill isn't at the level I want it to be. Before I continue w/ character art, I need to get back into basic principles, approach drawing studies w/ more patience and discipline.

>Cramped Schedule: I'll be the first to admit I bit off more than I could chew. I started these projects back when I only had a part-time but now that I'm working full-time and then some, there isn't a lot of time left in my day to accommodate everything I laid out for myself while maintaining a healthy sleep schedule. I may have to put in my 2-weeks already.

_The Death in Space CHEAT SHEET: V01

_A couple days overdue but alas, the first version of the cheat sheet for [Proj_00]. Despite everything, I'm happy to finally show some progress after all this time. It's a small component of the total project-and revisions will be necessary-but this page is designed to be printed, folded, and laminated for a compact and durable gaming experience.

I have no intent on selling this cheat sheet [A LOT OF LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS] and if any fan of Death in Space would like a copy, I'm happy to oblige. I pulled the fonts from https://www.dafont.com, a site I learned about in my Photoshop class. Some of the font owners permit commercial use. Most don't. And I tend on using more of their fonts for upcoming projects. Remember to pay attention to the readme's.

The general design philosophy was to keep everything minimalist while maintaining a grungy, technical quality to it, like an old tool manual. I hardly consider this cheat sheet to be a substitute for the actual game and I encourage supporting Stockholm Kartell

https://www.stockholmkartell.com/

_The Original Personal Data Zines:

Of course half of it is topsy-turvy because it's a zine but this is where [Proj_00] started. The vanilla character sheets pulled from the Death in Space website are good enough but I always liked working with custom elements. The problem w/ the zine format was that it was just too small to be of any use and doesn't work well w/ thicker cardstock. There were also tons of issues when it came to printing.

_Closing Thoughts:

I'm happy to finally have something of substance to present for the Dev Logs. The last thing I had to present was an outdated map for the assessment game, that idea is stuck on the backburner w/ a lot of other things. I honestly don't have any other way to explain what went wrong besides poor time management. Looking back on the November Project Manager, it's a good idea for me but w/ some tweaking it'll work better.

As I said, my drawing skill also needs work. Finishing the Cheat Sheet gave me more confidence in the road ahead but there's still a lot more that I need more practice/studying on. Of course I'd love to present something, demonstrate progress visually, but my talents aren't quite there yet. It's a realization that has made me consider another hiatus.

A recurring issue, the overtime schedule, not just for projects but all around. I took free-time for granted. So many hours wasted sleeping in and playing video games. Never again. To refrain from becoming too personal, I will say I'm already making motions to free up my schedule.

*Addendum: This is not the place for emotional drama. It helps to feel heard if someone else out there reads it and can relate. But a Dev Log should stay a Dev Log.

I'm already seeing faults in the Project Manager. Deadlines I missed, ideas dropped. Nothing left to do now besides pick up and move on. Slow motion is better than no motion.

-Errant out

_Introduction: Today produced two things: a project manager for this month and the realization that a 40+ hour schedule only gets in the way if I let it. All priorities from October will be either edited or rescinded. Instead, I'm choosing to focus on 5 items that pertain to projects 00 and 01 for the next 26 days.

Structure is not an idea I entertained due to time mismanagement in the past. Regardless, and this owes to incremental progress, smaller bites at a time fit better with a full-time work schedule. And yes, there will be overtime.

To start, the RPG Travel Kit will begin development starting with a rescaling of the Cheat Sheet provided in Death in Space's core rulebook. Over the next seven days-from the 5th to the 11th-I will create the cheat sheet in Adobe Illustrator and condense the essential in-game data to fit a 5" x 8" format, the standard for critical Travel Kit elements.

_[November 2024 Index]:

1) "RPG Travel Kit" Cheat Sheet: 7 days to create a functioning proof of concept

>Nov 5-Nov 11

2) Character Wardrobes: An illustrated collection of 5 total outfits (plus one nude) for three OCs Lexine, April, and Sakura

>Nov 8,9,10 and Nov 22, 23, 24 (6 days with random progress throughout the month)

3) "Four Titles" Concept Diary:

>Nov 8-Nov 10

4) Analysis of the Dead (Roadmap): A collection of written essays discussing effective zombie fiction and their influence on Twilight of the Dead. Subjects include:

• World War Z by Max Brooks
• High School of the Dead (anime and manga)
• George A. Romero's original "Of The Dead" trilogy (plus Land of the Dead and Zack Snyder's remake)
• The Last of Us + Left Behind
• Resident Evil Series

>Nov 13, 27, and 28

5) E Minor Pentatonic Scale: Five fingering positions, beginner friendly

+ 2/5 positions learned

+ Memorize notes and chords through study and practice

+ Experiment with what music I can create using this scale

>Consistent practice throughout month

*Addendum: There's a need to move along with the items in this index as quickly as I can if I'm to fulfill everything before Dec 1. Dates will be exclusive to a specific item but all in all, each day-morning and evening-will have time for necessary development.

_Challenges + Solutions:

• Fulltime Schedule + Overtime: As I said, I'm no longer allowing work to be an issue despite the time constraints. Early mornings before my shift and the evenings have enough hours to make daily progress on any of the 5 items.

• Maintaining Consistency: Today I realized the positive affect writing has had on schedule keeping. I have a little notepad on my person to jot down notes while at work.

• Energy: Keep a stricter adherence to sleep schedule, rely on caffeine if necessary to make daily progress. Reduce intensity of workouts.

_Things that have been going well:

• 8x5 standard for RPG Kit has been decided
• I chose a new spot to sit down and study at in late evenings
• Notepad allows me to make progress even while I'm working (hides in plain sight)
• I'm confident in the project manager

_Quote of the Week: "Find what you love and let it kill you"-Charles Bukowski

[END LOG]

_Not in the mood for Tourette's Guy. Been working overtime shifts the past four weeks. Bad head fog, worse sleep. Fucking cat ran away. [Proj_01] has been stagnating, nothing to report. [Proj_00] has some drive when I develop the stories it's intended for. Until my next day off rolls around after a week, nothing special I can do besides soldier on and make results. To anyone going into blue-collar work, I got one word: Unionize.

Your boss is not your friend.

_Progress:

>Learned the first two fingering positions on the E Minor Pentatonic scale.

>Started a drawing course w/ the GF, happy to share what I learn if it may help another beginner artist like me.

_Another thing I wanted to share, childhood inspiration. I once read on the back of a bottle cap that originality consists of returning to the origin. The meat of it didn't occur to me until a few days ago but reminding yourself of what joys you had when you were younger can go a long way in reviving yourself as an adult. Back when your sense of wonder was at its strongest and you were allowed to be optimistic. Shit happens, bring napkins.

But the moments that become nostalgic later in life can happen at any point, more so when doing something for the first time. Rose-tinted glasses, one of those few and important instances when humans lose their negativity bias and focus on the good. For me, it's playing Dead Space 2 on the 360. Cool early mornings in the desert, my brother and I playing 7th gen classics on split-screen, and long drives to San Diego with the grandparents. I like to think we get our most fascinating ideas when we're kids as a means of anchoring ourselves as adults. Doomerism is unproductive and a waste of time.

_Moving Forward: Work continues as normal. Likely more overtime shifts. I'm still adjusting the personal schedule but if I can wake up early enough, there's time before clocking in that I can sit at the café and work on a drawing or story. Tiredness is the main challenge, not the full-time job, it's the tiredness. But everyone has to ask themselves, sometime or later, what are we willing to let be in the way of our goals?

I'm on a slow, steady climb upwards. Very slow, progress is incremental. But I'm not dead yet.

_Quote of the Week: "Find what you love and let it kill you"-Charles Bukowski

[END LOG]

_Thanks to the overtime shift, I was able to purchase a Yamaha GigMaker acoustic guitar. Music adds a necessary component to the development of [Proj_01] because every game needs an original score. Halo has Finish the Fight. Frostpunk has The City Must Survive. Signalis, Cigarette Wife. The week has also been about the technical, more scientific, facet of skill building and I see this as relevant as it relates towards writing and drawing and other necessary skills for the project index.

Guitar practice will be more of a boon than a hinderance because as humans, the more we learn, the more we increase our capacity to learn. Time is still a bit of an issue but looking at the possible ways the work week could go, overtime means more money. No overtime means more free time. Life is about give and take.

_Things That Have Been Going Well:

> Developed an art direction for the setting in Obscura Files

> I can study at my favorite café again

> A new idea for the style guide: Character Wardrobes

>My hamster is staying hydrated

_Closing Thoughts:

To be original, return to the origin. If at any point I struggle with inspiration my solution will be to remember why I started in the first place.

_Quote of the Week: "Without music, life would be a mistake"-Friedrich Nietzsche

[END LOG]

_Intro: Aight, so I said I'd do these every Saturday but Sunday is close enough. To start, I got the job. Full-time working waste management. I'm already on the overtime shift and am having difficulty adjusting the work/life balance which is why I've been radio silent all month. I also have a second part-time job and get in an hour of gym time each day. I am sore and tired when I get home.

_Solutions:

>I am keeping the schedule as is and will create time for the projects around everything.

>A routine that better meshes my two jobs and the gym will open up a cushy timeslot for creative projects.

>As I've stated, slow motion is better than no motion

_Initial Thoughts: Time management is obviously the main issue. Getting up at least two hours prior to my shift will give me a head start on daily tasks. My part-time job is a good opportunity to zone out and think on important decisions regarding creative direction. However, the full-time job does not have that luxury. If I doze off, there's a good chance I'll be flattened by a garbage truck. These guys from the city have tighter schedules than I do.

I have made progress, though. Did some quick edits on a short story and I completed a figure drawing based on an old illustration.

_[Proj_01]: "Four Titles": The status of the Four Titles project is seeing a lot of difficulty. I cannot go far without more education. As I've said, this timeline will span years.

_[Proj_00]: "RPG Travel Kit": I've already begun adapting the Death in Space core rulebook to a portable format. There's a lot of experimentation with scale and custom game mechanics, but all in all, trial and error remains the best course of action.

_Closing Thoughts: There's no reason to make this more difficult than it needs to be. Most of the challenges involved are mental (hehe mentally challenged) and can be overcome with self-discipline. Focusing on the solutions is what I need more than anything. Too much attention on the difficulties is an unnecessary hinderance and a waste of time. This will be my entry for the week and will follow up with any results likely next Sunday.

*and on an irrelevant note, I am fuckin enamored by the sight of my hamster storing food. You don't know this, but I have a hamster. I just cleaned his habitat and already he's hiding food pellets beside a big ball of jute. I think he senses winter coming. Do house pets hibernate? I looked it up, no they don't. That's just a thing hamsters do, I guess.

Also, major changes coming to the project line-up. Adult ADHD kicking in again, if the formula's not working: change the formula. I have a very small window to see results before I put down what I'm doing then getting on with the next thing. I'm not sorry, that's just how I function. Like this little hamster storing food despite him being on a consistent feeding schedule. Oh well. My favorite part about owning a hamster is that you can take any fuckass piece of cardboard and they'll do something with it.

_Quote of the Week: "I like drugs"-Hunter S. Thompson

[END LOG]