On the way to Panda Express, I spent a lot of time being unreasonably angry at Ridley Scott's narrative-direction for the Alien franchise. Had a chance to see Romulus, did not see Romulus, ain't gonna see Romulus, but I was thinking about how engineers and the black goo are now a staple of what was the greatest sci-fi horror franchise of the 20th century.
I'm just thankful that brainrot didn't touch Aliens: Dark Descent until the very end and when they did it was done sparingly. Good, Tindalos Interactive remembers what Ridley Scott doesn't and that is the elegance resides in the mystery.
What did Prometheus give us? Black Goo. It's the black goo, chat. I think this is what senility and cocaine does to you. Scott dove nose-first into a ziploc bag then wrote the script for Prometheus on his phone. I don't believe in god, chat! The engineers, they made the humans, chat. It's my creation myth. Can't you tell? I have a sneaking suspicion that Scott's intention for Prometheus would've been write it as a standalone IP. But to some executives, that wouldn't have put asses in the seats. It's the Godzilla '98 problem all over again. Why take the risk when you can tempt people with the successful familiar? Anyone would be excited to see the latest installment of the Alien movies (The first two were so fucking good). But to steal the essence of the originals for intellectual meandering about human existence, nihilism, and faith is just confusing. Confusion is a poor substitute for intrigue.
Yes, Aliens brushed away some of that fog regarding the xenomorph's origin: They come from eggs, which comes from a queen, which means xenomorph is bees. But do you see the difference? Clarity is drip fed not blown away resentfully with keyboard cleaner. Every installment (and I am counting Alien Cubed) netted a little bit more information on the featured creature.
Imagine if in the Tremors franchise, they spent an entire film drawling on the origin of graboids, on how they were actually civil war soldiers but they drank funky cactus spunk and turned into the grabbers inside the monster's mouth but only on a waning gibbous moon and it's actually a parallel to westward expansion-somehow.
Onto Covenant, the only redeeming quality of Kenny Powers vs. Alien was the fact there were tits in one scene. That and the gay android subtext. Chef's kiss. Alright, Ridley Scott and religion: I think he can do it well. But with Prometheus and Covenant, he fumbled the bag on both of them. There's no subtlety, no invitation from the audience to postulate their own ideas. That's why Alien had such longevity, you write the lore with your own head-canon, it's how an audience stays engaged enough to form a community around a piece of media. Even Aliens' keystone addition to xenomorph biology, it doesn't detract from the mystery of their origin, you were still allowed to believe they were an ancient galactic evil reflecting an apathetic universe. NOPE! says Ridley Scott, Michael Fassbender's daddy issues, actually. And the black goo. Did I mention the black goo, chat?
I want to say that Ridley Scott is in his prequel-era for filmmaking but at least old Georgie boy could string two thoughts together despite how asinine they were. As one commenter in RLM's review for Romulus said: 'Black goo is Alien's midichlorians'. Once beloved directors have a bad habit of answering questions that no one asked. I'll say it again, the elegance is in the mystery. Keep your fucking mouth shut, keep it interesting.
The black goo, chat, it made the aliens and made the humans which made the androids which made the aliens, chat. Do you see what I'm saying?
No, I don't. Please stop talking. I'm an atheist, chat!
Fireteam Elite was alright as far as horde-shooters go-I still prefer Left 4 Dead-but it wasn't safe from the same worms that writhe in Ridley Scott's cranium-David sees himself as god, chat!-and the decision to build levels around the Engineers was bad enough but even the way they handled xenomorph design was underwhelming. Outstanding creative direction for the Colonial Marines, though! I wish their equipment and them always looked that good.
But, in Alien Cubed, it's established that the runner xenomorph is born from fast quadrupeds, dogs primarily. But in A:FE, the bulk of the horde is runners, your common infected. In Aliens, the warrior caste was the xenomorph's zerg-rush unit, susceptible to small arms but their advantage was in stealth and numbers, like an army of carnivorous ninjas. In Fireteam, the warrior is a lumbering mini-boss, a less exciting version of L4D's Tank. It's just a weird way to handle the lore and all I can think of is Weyland-Yutani sealing hundreds of dogs in the Derelict's egg chamber. They're that cartoonishly evil.
Back to Ridley "I lost my edge" Scott, what separates him from Lucas is his inability to handle a coherent thought, The black goo, chat! It creates life and mutates it but it's also a bioweapon! I don't believe in god, chat, can't you tell?
Where in the actual fuck are you going with this, sir? His head has been nothing but a bag of circus peanuts for years. It's hard to have faith in any sci-fi franchise anymore-star wars rant later and 343's Halo has got a whole composting bin rooting around in that noggin. The domain, chat! Ask me about the endless and the didact and the prometheans! Nonsense, all of it.
Anyway, still trying to do stuff but I promise nothing. In the process of unfucking my work schedule.