_On The State of Things:

I don't like how my News tab outweighs my Art tab but what can I say? Writing has always come to me more naturally than drawing though my progress today helps with that feeling. While in between jobs I'm going to use my open schedule to work on building up creative skills. I'm not sure what I'm expecting of myself or the future of my art but I know that my abilities are a long way off from all the big dreams I have. Better to move forward with an attitude of realism.

_On Evangelion:

Can't remember how it started but I got back into watching Neon Genesis: Evangelion. No matter what culture you're from, there's always that need for connectivity-the drive to be aware and present in the world despite the drawbacks. That's my interpretation of Shinji's journey at least. I can also appreciate media for its vibes, subtext and cultural relevance notwithstanding. It's just such a visually impressive anime to boot! Everything about NERV headquarters deserves praise. The checklists and protocols at the start of every EVA launch, the immeasurable scale of the geofront's superstructure. Masterful, all of it.

I started watching Evangelion and King of the Hill in the same timeframe with older cousins, so for the strangest reason those two animations occupy a similar nostalgic niche. N2 mines don't kill people, the government does!

Furthermore it's a story that helps cope with feelings of nihilism and isolation. What is most personal is most universal I presume. It's limited 26 episode run makes me think about the longevity of miniseries in the public eye. Generation: Kill, Band of Brothers, Highschool of the Dead. There's an aspect of finality that warrants respect and I didn't internalize that fact until recently.

I remember when writing stories and thinking of stories, I always wanted them to last forever and that's why keeping them going was so difficult. What has a beginning must have an end. My writing process suffered because I always struggled with the concept of finality. When you keep food past the expiration date it goes sour. Once I asked my dad if he ever thought that the Austin Powers movies should get a reboot. His response stands out in memory: It had its run.

Let things go gracefully...

Think about the situation with modern Star Wars and other IPs disney owns. It's not allowed to die, it's kept in a stasis of sorts. They're never gonna improve on the formula of (Ragtag band of rebels + Sand Planet) / Stuck in the fucking Empire Era. Disney will milk that cow until it's just as emaciated as a toothpaste tube squeezed well beyond the last drop.

Even Liam Neeson agrees that all the spin-offs and sequels drain the magic of a once beloved story. In a deleted rant about the current state of the Aliens franchise, I said Keep your fucking mouth shut and keep it interesting. Too bad Aliens is now disney property. How apropos.

Back to Evangelion, it honestly feels like the team at Gainax fired on all cylinders for each episode including EoE, and in doing so they created a series that outlived their own company. Everything will be forgotten eventually and that's alright. The fact that it was ever a thing is more important than monumentality. That goes for your drawings, your stories, late night snack runs with friends. Life truly is about the simple pleasures.

In the end, the passion behind your creative efforts far exceeds the output of finished products. Certainly finished is better than perfect. I'd rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies ya dig? But the hard part of that realization is that my skillset only allows for hundreds of pennies and not quarters.

Enough about that.

Finality is just as important to a story as its beginning. There's more I would like to say on the rebuilds of Evangelion but I'll have to get around to that later.

_Where To Go From Here:

I've written my characters and stories as if they're never meant to end. With that in mind, it's been very difficult to start. Of course, I do feature certain OCs in multiple different canons. They may continue but of course those particular narratives demand their own conclusions. Having plot has always served me better than just winging it.

_Final Thoughts:

I've stated my main point enough already. To quote this one eloquent gentleman on the One Piece anime, "I only keep up with [the show] because I've been watching it for 20 fucking years! Eight presidential terms and they haven't found ONE PIECE!".

-Errant out