We've been getting a lot of dust storms lately. I can't say I mind them compared to the typical heat advisory but I'll be damned if they don't make the vibes a little antsy. That's how my girlfriend and I felt today, antsy. Though I started feeling irritable towards the end I can't say I lost my cool despite misreading a turn at an intersection. Either way, I'm here and I'm grateful despite the state of things.

That irritability came from money troubles, news foreboding about another great depression and debt slavery. My dad once told me it's never as good as it seems, it's never as bad as it seems. He's a big fan of war movies and Black Hawk Down is no exception. Speaking of dads, I watched that movie Cell based on the Stephen King book, a dad looks for his son after a strange phone signal turns people into hive-minded psychopaths. It came out nine years ago and received poor reviews so I'll just say it looks like a downer ending. Didn't help the mood today and we're both feeling spent. Not only did I watch Cell but I've been playing a lot of Fallout: New Vegas, another IP that feels bleak.

Hope no longer feels like a random Facebook word anymore but a survival necessity. By all means, don't have any illusions about current events so long as you don't dare go hollow. I want to invoke a tidbit from an entry from earlier into the year—already half over, isn't it?

When you see good as the baseline, every thing that goes wrong feels like a tragedy. But by recognizing bad as the baseline, everything that goes right is a precious gift.

I like gifts so I'm gonna roll with that. Now that we've brought that state of mind back into the picture the problem of keeping hope alive seems more clear, no? Another thing that seems clear is reclaiming my power but not spreading myself too thin again, better not have a repeat of late '24. Evie helped me figure that one out. Three goals I want to stick to, start a career, get better at art, create a blog for another persona to use. At least this way I'm not all over the place even though my fear of money troubles linger. Of course I'm not expecting to go full on Of Mice and Men but I worry about not being able to afford the things I'm used to. Coffee, steam sales and the like. If I get hungry I want to know that I can buy something to eat.

To keep this entry from going all over the place I'll say that I'm content looking for more work whilst pursuing my art. The time's gonna pass anyway so I may as well be intentional about how I fill it. To wrap up here I'll note that I found a good place out in the desert. My graboid rock. Not a lot of resistance getting there and once I do the spot is comfortable. I took a nap up there last week before getting to work on another drawing, there's enough surface area and not too much of an incline, thankfully. It feels pertinent to ask Evie what she thinks and what she's really telling me is that getting back on Indeed will put my mind at rest for a while. The day's about over and I can't complain.